My Christmas was complete! I got a new rotisserie. I assigned putting the rotisserie together to my son, age 12.
The directions were in Spanish. We went through the kids’ Spanish dictionary to match the parts chart on page 3 to the parts names on page 4.
I’ve never trussed a chicken. We only had blue string. I imagined the chicken turning blue a la Bridget Jones and drove to the Dollar Store. They offered to sell me clothesline, so I bought it at the grocery store instead.
Youtube showed me how to truss the chicken. The directions said to preheat the oven first. My son earned a 2nd degree burn when he got the bird into the oven. As the bird turned, a string dragged. The chicken legs shimmied as the spit turned.
My daughter tended to her brother’s war wounds while I saved the chicken.
I turned off the oven and quickly tied more string as the bird went around the spit. I tied it tighter together so it wouldn’t shimmy while spinning. Then the spit rotated in the other direction. It spun backwards until all the string was undone.
I would not be conquered by a dead bird and a kitchen appliance! Off to Youtube I raced! I watched 3 more videos. We retied the bird so tight the spit wouldn’t move.
I didn’t want to get burned, so we took the top off the oven. My daughter helped me fix the spit. We won! The bird began spinning! The thighs shimmied and the belly flopped, but the bird was secure.
Five minutes later, my daughter called, “Mom! There’s a problem!”
One side of the spit fell onto the bottom of the oven. The bird rotated and shimmied. When we took off the top to fix it again, I earned my 2nd degree burn. My daughter tended to my war wounds.
This time, it worked. The bird still shimmied, but it cooked.
That evening, we enjoyed our own rotisserie chicken. Never mind that the oven got so hot it melted the chocolate chips in the cabinet above it.
My son and I nursed our burns, took some pain meds, and our family ate the conquered bird.
Never underestimate the power of a whole family against a single household appliance.
Yesterday, the rotisserie. Today, the smoker.
I wonder if my family will ever buy me a turkey fryer……